Don't Push Me
by illdrownwiththisship
Summary: Regina was in a terrible accident, leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. Her fiancee leaves her while she's recovering from her injuries. Dr. Swan quickly becomes Regina's closest friend and her only support system, but one day another doctor shows up for rounds and Regina hasn't seen her favorite doctor since then... That is until a little boy helps her in the grocery store.


Hey guys,

I'm back! Boy, it's been awhile. My life has been a roller coaster and I'm finally getting at a point where I feel like I have time, and am motivated again to start writing. I've put my passions on the back burner way too long! So here it is, based on a prompt that popped up on the Swanqueen FF facebook group. Let me know what you think!

This was my first trip, on my own, to go and get my groceries and what was once an easy trip is now a dreaded activity I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Wheeling myself down the aisle, trying to find the product I'm looking for and seeing it about halfway down the aisle; I roll my new set of wheels, arms burning and my body, or at least the parts I can feel, tense, for what feels like an eternity when I finally arrive at my destination. A sigh of relief leaves my body, I look over and that's when I realize that not only was it halfway down the damn aisle, it's also on the top shelve, way out of my reach. "fuck," I mutter under my breath. I look around and, of course, there is no one there. I sigh and close my eyes, fighting back tears as my frustrations are trying to get the best of me. I chuckle sarcastically, "of course, fucking of course,". Just when I'm about to let my head fall into my hands, to try and compose myself, I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. "Excuse me," a soft little voice fills my ears. "Do you need some help grabbing something?" I don't have to look up to know it's a young boy talking to me, and my lips curl up into a sad smile. "well, hello," I say tenderly. "that's very kind of you, young man." He smiles brightly, lighting up a part of my darkened heart. "Would you mind grabbing the tomato sauce for me?" I point up towards the brand I need, still fighting back tears. He nods his head and stands on his tippy toes, reaching hard for what I need but not quite being able to reach it either. "oh no," he pouts defeated as he lands back on his tiny feet. He can't be much older than 8 years old and stands maybe 3 to 4 foot tall. "It's okay." I quickly reassure the young boy. I look around, trying to come up with a way for us to get what I need. "step up on my chair, I'll hold you," I suddenly realize that I'm pretty much a major step stool for the young boy. I can see the hesitation in his eyes, "It's okay you won't hurt me," I laugh to myself, it's not like I would feel it even if he did. I hold on to the young boys knees as he stands on my arm rests, a small smile on my face that feels unfamiliar. In all honesty, I can't remember the last time I did actually smile. A genuine, heartfelt smile. One that you can feel inside, like waves crashing over your body. Or the one that makes your cheeks hurt, I can not remember and sadness threatens to take over again. "You know," the young boy starts, "I don't understand why they gotta put all this stuff so high up." And just like that the threat resides, I laugh softly, "Tell me about it, even if I wasn't in this chair I could barely reach!" He chuckles softly, "I'm sorry they make it so hard for you," he adds, not with pity but just a matter-of-factly kind of way, a way I am not used to anymore. "Thank you, that actually means a lot." I smile up at him, even though he isn't looking. "you're a smart little boy, you know that?" I hear him giggle which makes my heart melt. "I got it from my momma," he says quickly.

"Henry!" A loud voice echoes through the grocery store, loud and fast foot steps can be heard from the aisle next to us. "I'm over here, mom" the young boy, who's holding on to the shelving, answers the almost frantic voice. "oh-oh, Henry, seem like you might be in a bit of trouble." I say jokingly as I poke his side, and he erupts in giggles. Making sure I don't let him fall, I hold on to him. "Henry, what in the world are you doing!?" Oh yes, his mother was definitely mad now, most likely thinking her son rudely climbed on top of this crippled ladies wheelchair, I rolled my eyes- only for me to know. "I'm helping this lady, mom," He's looking over his shoulder, "she couldn't reach-" he pauses and grabs the tomato sauce, "-This!" he handed it to me and I quickly put it down in my lap, helping him get down from my wheelchair his mother telling him to be careful all the way down. "He is fine, he can't hurt me," I speak up when his feet hit the ground. I turn my wheelchair around to meet his mother and thank her for raising such an amaz- "Dr. Swan?" And just like that my world starts crumbling down, any kind of happiness the little boy gave me rushes away, making way for anger and hurt. Putting me back 10 steps into my depression, no, more like 15. "Regina, my god, it's been awhile." Her mouth is slightly agape, like she can't actually believe it's me, like I'm some hallucination in a wheelchair.

"_Hi Regina, how are you feeling today?" An unfamiliar voice wakens my from my sleep, I open my eyes and scan the sad, empty hospital room. My eyes landing on a short, brunette with a pixie cut that I have never seen before, yet she's talking to me like she knows me. "Uhm- who are you?" I try to hoist myself up into a sitting position, but I fail. The brunette in her white doctors coat quickly reaches out to help me, "No. I got it!" I snap at her, I'm so tired of people always jumping in to help, like I'm some weak, helpless little bird. "I got it," I say again, as she takes a step back with her hands raised in surrender. " I'm Dr. White," She speaks softly, her voice dripping with sympathy almost enough to make me gag. "I'm your new doctor," My eyes widen, "My new, what?" I ask her, my blood pressure definitely rising, along with my rage. "Your new Doctor, Regina," she extends her hand and I just look at it in disgust. "Where's Dr. Swan?" She drops her hand and I look behind her, thinking this is a joke and Emma is about to poke her head out from behind Dr. Nauseatingly-Happy at any moment now. "I'm afraid she had to take on another patient, but I will take great care of you, I promise" Her sweet voice irritating my ears. She had to take another patient? What does that even mean? "I want to talk to Dr. Swan," I insisted, my hands balding into fists. "Tell her I need to talk to her." Dr. White softly shook her head, "I'm afraid that's not going to be possible at this time, Regina," she looked down at my chart. "How about we go over your chart together today, and see how we can make you more comfortable?" she tried, and I get it. She's just trying to do her job. But I can't help but lash out, "How about you get the fuck out of my room and get Dr. Swan, and that _might _make me more comfortable." for good measure I point towards the door. "Regina, I really wish you would let me do my job," I guess the short woman wasn't as easily scared as I thought she would be. "I understand you and Dr. Swan had established a doctor-patient relationship in the last 4 months but now, I'm all you've got." Ouch, that actually stings a little bit. First Mal and now Emma, anything I've known since my accident has left me. I calmed down, realizing it's not the woman's fault. "Is she coming back?" I ask quietly, my voice breaking. I can't lose something or someone else. "Probably not, Regina." Dr. White takes a step, approaching me. "You won't be alone," and again that too-sweet of a smile appears on her face and I roll my eyes. "I need you to go," I tell her softly, "I need you to leave me alone," I turn my head away from her. If I don't see her, then maybe all of this isn't happening. I close my eyes for good measure. Darkness surrounds me, and sadness embraces me. I sink back into my, oh-so uncomfortable hospital bed and let my tears fall. _

I clear my throat, fighting back all the emotions running through my head. All of a sudden that day in the hospital feels like it happened yesterday. "Alright, well, thank you, young man for helping me with that." I grab the stupid tomato sauce and hold it in the air before dropping it into my lap ones more. I quickly place my hands on my wheels and turn my chair around, trying to get away as fast as I can. "Regina," Emma calls after me. "wait a sec," I hear her mumble something to the child but I'm not stopping. I need to get out of here, and quick. My face focused on the end of the aisle, some people might think I'm trying to teleport there. I'm finally picking up pace when Dr. Swan steps right in front of me, making me have to stop my chair abruptly which I can assure you is not a very comfortable thing for _anyone_ in a chair. "Dr. Swan, what are you doing!?" I yell at her, not caring who can hear. "Get out of my way!" she looks petrified, what did she expect? "I-" she starts. "I have some explaining to do." I scoff angrily and roll my eyes, my hands once more trying to move my wheelchair. "You were pretty clear, Dr. Swan." She still won't let me go. She reaches into her pocket and hands me a card. "When you're ready, call me." I don't take the card from her, so instead she drops it on my lap, "If I say okay, will you let me leave?" I spit at her. "Of course," tears in her eyes, before looking over my shoulder, checking on her son- I'm assuming. "fine," I say and she moves out of the way. I leave the grocery store as fast as I can in this god damned chair, but it's not until I'm in the safety of my house that I break down and let all the anger and hurt fall from my broken and battered body.

Ones the release of emotions slowed down and pure exhaustion took over, I realized I never even knew this woman. She was my pillar right after my accident, right after the woman I thought I loved left me, right after I was told I would never walk again. She was there through it all, but I did not know one thing about her, I didn't even know she had a son. So why am I so upset? Why is this hurting me so bad? I looked at the card that Emma had given me, and honestly I wouldn't even know what to say. What do you say to your doctor that decided you were too much too handle and gave up on you as a patient, as a person? The only thing that made me believe I was going to be okay, was her. The only thing that made life in a wheelchair seem not so bad, was her. But she was my doctor, not my friend. She was simply doing her job, and when she realized I saw her as a friend or relied on her more than I should have- she left. It was either the greatest gift she could have given me, or the most disrespectful and cruel thing you can do to someone like me. Someone who was alone, afraid and unknown to my own body. Someone who now has no choice but to do it by herself, not having to rely on someone she cares about to take care of her. Now I just pay people, my driver, my in-home nurse that comes by once a day to make sure I haven't fallen out of my chair somewhere. They don't care about me, they care about the paycheck they are earning while caring for me. Maybe I'm better off, why would I want to burden someone with having to take care of me? I put the card on the kitchen counter and wheeled myself to my bedroom. The only good thing that came out of today? I am so emotionally drained and exhausted that maybe- just maybe, I'll have a good night sleep for the first time in almost a year.


End file.
